Midget Alien

Book Draft..continued

Sat, 01 Jul 2006 09:34:29 GMT

Sleep seemed so insignificant as I lay in the backseat of my father’s minivan. "What is the point of sleeping right now?" I try to re-direct my attention away from the sorrow that threatens to succumb me towards my cousin that lay next to me, unsure of how to feel, unsure of how to act, and, for once, unsure of what to say. My strength seemed to be slowly depleting, and now, my entire net of support was ripping…every strand quickly snapping as if there was too much weighing it down.

That day, the strand that was my cousin came undone, after that day we no longer talked like we had and we no longer stayed friends like we had been up to this point in my life.

My small net of security was torn to shreds, gone. From that day on, I would walk alone…changed and I will never be able to turn back, I will never be able to be the same, and I will never be able to be who I was the day my world seemed to end.

Cant Sleep...again

Thu, 29 Jun 2006 09:59:19 GMT

I am really tired but not sleep and it totally sucks! I was trying to pass the time by playing a video game, to no avail. I have recently picked up Wild Arms 3, found it a Gamestop for 8 bucks, sweet deal. I got about five hours in to the game and I am on the third character, I am suppose to find some stupid dungeon and I cannt find it for the life of me! I searched, and searched...nothing. Usually I am a little bit more patient with these things, however this time the enemies are way, way stronger than my character and it seems to take forever and a day to level up, what a pain! Anyway that is why I am now typing on my computer instead.

When I can't sleep, which is about three days out of the week, I end up thinking way too much. And right now I am thinking about just way too many things, school,am I ever going to finish and finding a job because I get way to bored when I don't work. It has been very difficult for me to just relax and enjoy the time I don't have to work, thanks to my hubby. I have never depended on anyone to take care of me, and it is really hard to get use to someone taking care of me, or at least supporting me while I try to find my way again.

Persona 3

Mon, 26 Jun 2006 10:12:00 GMT

Draft Writing

Wed, 21 Jun 2006 20:32:07 GMT

I am working on a book, I have no idea what type of book this is going to be or what exactly it will be about. I will be posting my writing here, just in case anyone wants to read. Jess

Oh and please, if you have any suggestions or comments post them. I can use some constructive criticism.

“The only chance I have is to grow up, when I get older, I will get another chance.” A mysterious voice whispers, “A chance at what?” “When I grow up I will get a chance to make everything right, I will be able to begin anew, and leave everyone and everything behind.” A distant presence asks,” Why would you want to leave everything or everyone behind?” “Because, right now I am ruled by people and the things they have to offer, when I grow up I will no longer feed off of other souls like a parasite.” “What makes you think it will be any different then?” “ All I have is hope, without hope I am nothing, especially now, especially now that you are gone.” “ Me? But I am talking to you right now.” “No Steven, I am talking to you, and you are not here.” You are a lost book of memories; you are the first hope I had, the only hope. “Now, my only hope is another life.”

Simply Amazing

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 18:56:22 GMT

It is amazing how almost complete strangers can turn out to be your bestest of friends, it is amazing how much support you can get from people you hardly know. To me this comes as a surprise because most of the time I get more care and sympathy from people outside of my family. YOu know, if it was not for strangers I don't know where my morale would stand right now. That is why to me everyone is a friend, no matter how long I have known you, no matter how far away you are, and no matter what you are or where you have been.

KH 2

Thu, 30 Mar 2006 19:14:27 GMT

Ok, so my husband bought me Kingdom Hearts II last night. He set it on the kitchen table and I was weary to pick it up because I was so excited! After finishing up my chores and crap, I picked up the game, gathered my snacks, mountain dew, and my fuzzy kitties, this is how I get prepared for a new game. I popped the disk in to my trusty PS2 and kind of felt like I was betraying Suikoden, the game I have been playing for the last week or so.
Then, the spectacle began.

The voice overs are perfect, the story leaves you with an unreleivable feeling of suspense. The attachment that grows on you, only after thirty minutes of playing the game, makes the entire environment seem fimiliar. The flashbacks that occur periodacally remind you that you have just become part of a magnificent story, a story that will engulf you.

I am very impressed with the new Kingdom Hearts fighting style, which is very similar to God of War. Not only does each battles consist of precise timing, even the with the heartless, but it also provides a sense of " I just totally kicked his ass", by getting you a lot more involved in fighting instead of just clicking the X button.
As you are fighting, you are prompted to click a button that will give you the opportunity to perform special attacks, dodge, interupt, and defend. I am very satisfied that the fighting style will present a lot of opportunities for variety.

I have only played this game about four hours, but I know that this game is going to be awesome, and full of surprises.The grand effort contributed to this game is just phenomenal!

uh

Thu, 23 Mar 2006 19:59:23 GMT

blah

Kingdom Hearts II

Wed, 22 Mar 2006 23:27:02 GMT

Check back later, releases March 28 2006.

Suikoden V

Wed, 22 Mar 2006 23:23:27 GMT

SUIKODEN V REVIEW

I am not really sure how my attachment to Suikoden came to be. My fascination could of started once I laid my eyes on the cell shaded characters of Suikoden III, it could of sparked the first time I saw a Suikoden turn based battle, or it could of just as easily began when I could not stop playing Suikoden III because of the storyline. I was a bit worried about Suikoden V, to be honest, especially when I saw a boat in one of the previews I saw prior to purchasing the game. Not only was I not wanting to sail for long periods of time, I was also concerned on the battle system, the animation, and the storyline. Most of these concerns sparked when I played Suikoden IV. Suikoden IV, for me, was nothing I expected. However, I did not lose hope in Konami and to my relief, I was not disappointed.

The first thing you cannot help but notice in Suikoden V is the story, right from the beginning you jump right in to the world of the hero, his bodyguards, his aunt, and his mother, the queen, and his father. Not surprisingly, the power of the Sun Rune is the major part of the Suikoden V story. Because the queen has possession of the Sun Rune, the game touches base on a load of different political issues, most reminding me of our current situations. For example, medical benefits, immigration, and repression. As a Suikoden fan, I was comforted with the return of a very strong storyline.

The character animation for Suikoden V was a reminder of the well-known Suikodens, not all like the last installment of this series, where the characters seemed bland and uninteresting. The facial expressions, humor, and personality given to the characters in this game remind me of Suikoden III. The hero still seems to be mute for some reason, but you are able to select responses to questions that you are asked. Costumes are much more cultural, colorful, and enticing. Architecture in the game is, as always to the point, nothing magical in that area.

Unfortunately, after three hours of game play, I was only able to battle about eight times. This may seem a bit boring if you are not the usually Suikoden devotee. However, the good news in the battle system is the return of the swift, elegant, and team oriented attacks. You are given the ability to switch out characters, bribe to retreat with no chance of failure,use a coop attack, cast a rune spell, and use items during battle. Also, there are the usual one on one battle, war battle strategies, and recruiting. On a hopefull note, I have not had to sail a boat as of yet...let us hope it stays that way.

I will continue to add my opinions and experiences on this game throughout my game-play. Feel free to check back. THanks for reading
Jess
aka luv_rpgs
aka midgetjess
aka luvlife

Oblivion

Wed, 22 Mar 2006 23:15:10 GMT

Ok I will start with the crazy customization abilities that are available to you when making your own character. Unlike Morrowind, Oblivion gives you the opportunity to make your own individual character by providing plenty of face changing abilities, hair color and style, old or young, black or blue- each race gives you even more options. There are ten different races to choose from, five different classes, and six different types of spells. For example, destruction spells, restoration, mysticism, alteration, conjuration, and illusion. As usual, you can pick up magical items as well.

At the beginning of the game you are in a prison of course. The controls seemed all wacky at first, but that was easily changed when I inverted the controls via the options menu.Attacking, or punching in this case, is a lot faster in this game, unlike the Xbox game. Surprisingly, I was able to obtain a bunch of weapons and armor quickly in the game...unlike the prior game, Morrowind. Also you start off with a healing spell right off the bat, and receive a defensive spell as well.
In your menu, you have the option to set hot keys for items and spells, which is pretty new to me???????being that I am not much of a PC gamer, and you can view your weapons, spells, stats, class, skills, and quests.

When stepping outside, it is a whole new world! The graphics are amazing in this game! I was a bit concerned about getting lost in this huge game, but a world map is located in your menu, which shows you where you are currently located and shows what towns or sites you have covered. Also, you can be warped to the towns you have visited. Along with your map, you are provided with a compass that is visible at the bottom of your screen. You can steal horses, pick pocket villagers, buy a house or a shop, and so much more! For those of you with a 360, you must buy this game.

She walked in...

Wed, 07 Dec 2005 03:41:17 GMT

She walked in to the room nervous, frightened, and alive-- yet withering from the loss of jurisdiction over thoughts that have almost killed her. Yearning for his hands to touch the back of her head, his fingers to touch each strand of her dark brown hair while kissing her -- letting it be known how long he has also waited for their passion to succumb both of them to the point of tears. Jasmine decides to release some of her madness by writing in her journal. “The wait has been long and unmerciful, my mind, body, and soul have been calling out to you for years now…to the point that a single thought of you caused me pain. A pain I could no longer keep locked away inside of me; a pain that was obvious to everyone around me, a pain that almost swallowed me alive. The encompassing feelings of wonder, desire, and delight I have always felt around you have caused a panic within the walls of my security; a security I did not know how to hide. How was I to continue this façade of infatuation that was seeded in my heart? I can tell myself over and over that the one that has given me his life deserves better. The only man that has given up all his dreams just to be by my side, I cannot hurt. I cannot rip out the red pumping vessel that resides in his chest. How can I hold such power over such a strong, courageous, and loving creature? Why must I hold the eternity of someone else’s soul in these sinful, selfish, and unfaithful emotions?

A Pledge to Myself

Sun, 04 Dec 2005 18:46:08 GMT

I have finally come to realize that reaching out to people or trying to set things straight, never works. People need to help themselves before anyone else can help them. I have always tried to make people feel better about themselves and not to get caught up in things that do not matter. The problem with that was, well I have a lot of baggage I need to clear off of my back before I can ever make a positive difference in someone else's life. I am not the bestest friend anyone could have but I try to be there for everyone. I try to put grudges aside, forgive, and grow as a person at the same time when I make friends. I do not believe in hating anyone or treating people differently, sure I am not perfect and I vent sometimes, but who the hell dosen't? I cannot be a perfect friend, wife, or daughter...all I can do is be myself and if no one likes it well, the could just fuck off. I am tired of trying to be everyones friend and trying to please everyone, I know no one asks this of me but I have lived my life trying to make everyone else happy-but myself. From now on I will concentrate on living a happy life and not worry about what everyone else thinks of me or the way I live my life. If anyone is reading this I think you should work on doing the same thing, do not forget yourself and never put someone else's happiness over yours. What good are we if we are miserable, unhappy, or stressed out. The past few months, ever since working at Borders, I have felt betrayed, stressed, miserable, fatigued, and not worth a scrap. It is time for me to take my life in my own hands and stop letting anyone else run it for me and I will start with riding myself ofany drama that comes my way and any drama I might want to cause by caring too much.This is the first day of my life.

Can you tell how my day was like today?

Thu, 01 Dec 2005 00:28:30 GMT

Feelings of frustration, self pity, and disappointment clump up in the middle of my throat

My breathes become shorter and quicker

The rage that consumes me seeps out of my fingers and causes a frantic dance to spill out over the pages I write

The intensity of my stare furrows my eyebrows and crinkles the skin on my forehead

Thoughts of complete freedom from emotion...
Of freedom from the restraints that shackle me, every passing day,
Seem to fill my head

What are these desires that keep me in doubt?

What are these cries that trail behind me like a wondering stray?

Is it my denial that keeps me in check...
Or just a hopeless dream of normalcy that keeps forever reeling me in?

Sadness reaches out to me,
I resist with the whiteness of my teeth and the silent protest of my smile.

Reaction

Mon, 21 Nov 2005 04:44:51 GMT

Pen in my hand,

What flows through...oh I will tell you...

My pulsing fingers give way to the vibrations that run from my brain,

The serenity that sets in,

My heart will run free with the being that I wish to be.

Anyway...by Mother Teresa

Sun, 20 Nov 2005 20:10:29 GMT

ANYWAY….by Mother Teresa

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some genuine enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you;
Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world your best anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 3rd, 2005 at 4:47 pm and is filed under General, Healing, Poetry. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

The Cheesecake Factory

Mon, 14 Nov 2005 04:03:33 GMT

Friday night after work I met some friends at The Cheesecake Factory for a birthday dinner. Before we were seated we were asked for a cell phone number and told to wait for a manager to give as an estimated time to be seated. We waited for about half an hour and heard nothing about our seating arrangements. The birthday girl's sister decided to ask how much longer we needed to wait before sitting down. The only answer we received was
"A manager will call you when we know how much longer you will have to wait". So, we stood in front of the reservation, the one that does not accept reservations, waiting for an additional half an hour.

While standing we noticed how small the restaurant was. There were crowds of people standing in front, behind, and next to us waiting to be seated. The bar consisted of a small counter with about twelve chairs in front of it--not nearly enough to hold even half of the people that were waiting that evening. After complaining about the tiny space provided and the inconvenience of "no reservations excepted", Jesselyne asked the hostess what the hell was going on. She said that we would be seated shortly. In the meanwhile we were trying to get a hold of Jany via her cell phone, when we reached her she was in the parking lot of The Cheescake Factory. About fifteen minutes later, no I am not exaggerating,Jany walked in. We chatted for about five minutes and finally were told a table was available. After being seated I noticed that everything on the menu was over thirteen dollars, yes even the appetizers.

So I figured the food must be really good here. Well all I ordered was a plate of nachos, an appetizer, that cost me $13.50. The waiter, by the way, had this annoying twitch in his eye and kept mummbling the specials for the night. When the food finally arrived I was disappointed, granted this was not a well known mexican restaurant but I expected a bit better for $13.50. So after the meal we ordered dessert. Samantha convinced me to split a cheesecake that was called Kahlua Cheesecake. After eating the cheesecake I was a bit buzzed! That was the highlight of the night. Yes, Jessica got a buzz from a freakin cheesecake. Awesome. So anyway do not go to The Cheesecake Factory, at least on a weekend, because the food and the service is not worth the wait.

A day working retail

Sat, 05 Nov 2005 02:20:54 GMT

Imagine coming to work and being approached with many different questions before even starting the work shift. Think of hearing a monotonous tone paging for extra help, when you finally reach the break room, at the registers that is not available due to short staffing. Can you picture greeting the employees while they hold a look of grim, stress, or sadness? How about the co-workers that seem angry because they work so much for so little, from minimum wage to about seven dollars and fifty cents an hour. Imagine keeping a smile on your face all day long while not making enough to eat a proper lunch everyday. Welcome to the world of retail, where the customer is always right. Many people who have never had to work in retail are under the impression that it is easy work. I believe the service we provide should be recognized, should be appreciated, and should encourage customers to treat sales clerks with respect.

After work

Thu, 03 Nov 2005 00:59:45 GMT

I can hear the fountain outside my window. I can not see the view from here very well because my big, fat, and fuzzy cat Gizmo is blocking a major part of my window. My homework is sitting on the desk next to my computer screen, waiting for it's next stage in it's pathetic life. So far I have only opened the book to the appropriate page (which says I am really trying for a Wednesday).The book sits there crying out for attention every time I walk by. I sat down in front of the book for a moment acting like I was really going to finish it today, yet I all of a sudden remembered the Final Fantasy group I belong to. Finding out whether Square-Enix is going to remake Final Fantasy VII for PS3 is a lot more important than kissing my professors ass by completing every single assignment. I think I can remember were a comma should go, when the colon seems applicable, or that a paragraph is about four sentences long. Still, I must admit that I hold a lot of respect for English teachers;they have to work with a lot of stupid people. Anyway the workbook I am suppose to be working on seems to be sending me signals, it wants my affection at the moment so I better go do it's bidding.

The Giggles

Wed, 02 Nov 2005 00:32:28 GMT

My supervisor, Josh decided to busy some cookies for the team today. They were sugar cookies, and I had to many. SO, I got a really bad case of the giggles today. I could not stop giggling, until I started on my way home in traffic, streets full of stupid drivers and dumb pedestrians. Then the giggles were gone.

Smoking

Wed, 02 Nov 2005 00:30:10 GMT

I have finally decided to quit smoking(for real this time) and I am totally freadking out! I am even more bitcher than I was before, I wish I never started! I even had a dream about smoking a cig how sad is that? Anyway wish me luck I have tried to quit before at no avail.

Abandonment

Sat, 29 Oct 2005 15:35:47 GMT

Abandonment
I chose to write in response to Langston Hughes’, “Salvation,” from Twenty-Five Great Essays, by Robert Diyanni. This essay is about Hughes as a young twelve-year-old boy who is taken to church, by his aunt, to be “saved”. In other words, Hughes was expected to accept Jesus in front of an entire church, so that he may go to heaven. The story talks about his confusion in not seeing Jesus come to him in person, therefore not believing in Jesus anymore. Langston Hughes decides to share the experience of disappointment in his beliefs. I have had an almost identical experience of my own; the feeling of abandonment from the one I felt would always be there, Jesus.
I remember how nervous and undecided I was when I agreed on a date to be baptized. Discussions with the church were set up in order for me to get a better understanding on the church’s belief system. Two missionaries would meet with me on a weekly basis in order to share “the truth” with me. I should have realized right away when they asked me to set a date for my baptism, that these missionaries would be aggressive. However, the pressure did not come only from the missionaries as much as it came from my soon to be mother in law, who believed that in order to be a good wife I would need to be part of the church. The discussions, similar to Hughes’ essay when he writes about the things he was told he would see when he was saved, were focused on the benefits that would accompany the baptism. They said I would feel Jesus and he would support me through the transition. I enjoyed the discussions because I was happy to be able to talk of Jesus so openly without protest.

However, little by little I began to have doubts about the religion the missionaries were trying to convince me to join. I prayed night after night in vain, hoping for an answer to my dilemma. These unanswered questions started to feed at my indecision towards the missionaries and their purpose. I started to ask questions in order to find out about the history of the church, anything to try to convince myself that the baptism was the right thing to do. The missionaries and even the elders for that matter were not telling me the whole truth to the story, that made me change my mind about being baptized. My mother and father in law were so happy about my interest that I felt I would be letting them, the parents I always wished I had, down. I did not want that to happen no matter what the consequences. So, I decide to follow through with the baptism. On the day of the baptism my husband and me drove to the temple in order to meet with the missionaries and start the reception. I remember the entrance to the temple, the big sealed doors that seemed heavy, locked and forbidden. I was surprised to see so many supporters in the church just to see me baptized. My sister in law even came down from Idaho just to be there for me. Everyone seemed so happy that I was finally being baptized, like Langston Hughes in church as a child receiving prayers from church members; I received nothing but prayers, encouragement and smiles. How could I tell them that I did not feel certain that Jesus wanted me to be baptized? How would I begin to tell everyone that Jesus did not answer my prayers, not one, in response to this decision? I decided to give in and hope that Jesus would continue to ignore me and not see this baptism as disobedience, or better yet that he would somehow show me his support after the baptism took place.

Once I was baptized there was no end to the support I received during the reception that followed. My new family was so happy about my decision, my father in law even cried after a speech he gave in my honor. My husband, due to the overwhelming feeling of necessity to the church, gave a speech, which he usually has a hard time doing, of encouragement towards my decision of joining the church.
I sat in the front row trying to keep a smile on my face, while my palms were slipping off the side of the chair I was gripping because of my frustration. I held back lashes of uncertainty, and held my true feelings back by biting down on my lower lip. I felt trapped, like a lab rat in a small cage with no escape. I was so hurt at the betrayal I felt from Jesus, that I did not speak a word to anyone for the remainder of the reception. That night as Langston Hughes did in his essay, “Salvation”, I cried all night feeling betrayed by Jesus, the one who I thought had watched over me all through my life, up until my recent decision. Why had he forsaken me and ignored my prayers? How was I to feel happy when the one I counted on so much, had abandoned me? I was heart broken, my belief in Jesus was gone like a summer wind, it carried away the hope of a reunion with the memories I could only watch drift away.

Marriage

Sat, 29 Oct 2005 01:51:15 GMT

Upon reading “The Good Marriage”, by Judith Wallerstein and Sandra Blakeslee, I felt as though they were well educated in the institute of marriage. The combination of personal experience, research, and psychological helped them give a good explanation of the many building blocks that are needed to start, and progress a marriage in to a strong foundation for their children. To me, in order for a marriage to succeed, three things are needed, a good role model, love, and respect.
I have been lucky to have three role models on the importance of love and respect in a marriage. One of my role models was my father, who suffered through a difficult marriage due to the lack of love and respect. From his pain and loneliness after a very draining divorce, I knew that my job as a future wife would be to love and respect my husband. That way I would not suffer through such a loss, and my future husband would not need to feel lonely or sad because of an unsuccessful marriage. My parents in law have been married for twenty-five years. Through my parents in law my husband learned early on what it takes to make a marriage work. For example, from watching them grow and change together he has observed that change can be a good thing in a marriage. Through my husband, my parents in law, and my father I have learned many important qualities needed for a long and happy union.

I can say with confidence that love is one of the most vital aspects for a strong bond between husband and wife. For example, if I did not love my husband I would not be so willing to work on certain aspects of my personality in order to help our marriage.
Without love I would probably not be able to give my husband the encouragement and tenderness he receives from me. When we exchanged vows we knew that the love we have for one another would conquer any doubts or dilemmas we might encounter during our journey together.
Respect is another piece to the puzzle of staying together through the rest of our lives; respect brings my husband and I closer together. An example of this is when my husband and I were talking about moving to another state. I received the idea from my sister in law and decided it might be a good idea to start a family in Idaho. So, I asked my husband what he thought about such a big change, he simply said, “If you want to, we will move”. I could have just went along with it and not asked any questions, instead I sat him down and asked him what he really thought about moving. Before he answered I made sure that he knew how much I respect his opinion. My husband was very happy that I respected him that much, he felt like part of a team and that his opinion is very important to me, even if I do not always agree with him. Respect has helped us grow together, learn from each other, and work as a team. I can safely say that good role models, love, and respect have made it easy to take on any challenges that face us, as long as we both shall live.

Stupidity

Thu, 27 Oct 2005 01:23:26 GMT

My mother sent this email to me and I got a little pissed off after I read it. I have also attached my response to this nonsense, I thought you might appreciate it so here it goes. Try not to get upset or lauph to hard.

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her "How could God let something like this happen?" (regarding the attacks on Sept. 11).

Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, "I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives.

And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?"

In light of recent events...terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started! when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK.

Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school . the Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, ! their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW."

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says.

Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when yo! u start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.

Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they WILL think of you for sending it. Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world
in!!
Jess' response
How depressing. I will not be sending this to anyone because it makes God seem like and angry, unforgiving, and violent God, which I know he is not. I do not like it when people use murder and the Lord in the same sentence. Things are as they are for a reason. If God wanted things different they would be different. I feel sorry for Mary for living a life so full of fear. Yes people have tried to silence the word of GOd, but if Mary paid more attention she would notice that none of this has happened. In fact, in Maryland a new class is starting and it is called creationism; this class teaches about how the world was created, while contradicting Darwin's theory of evolution,through the eyes of believers. And actually in my college there are many clubs, groups, and missionaries who are free to spread the word as they please. Unfortunately, children are acting out simply because of bad peranting. You would be surprised to know how many "bad children" are raised in Christianitiy, be it Christian, Catholic, Prosetant...whatever. I do not have respect for people that yap away without being properly educated. Anyway sorry mom I know you meant well, I just do not like people being so blind to things that happen right in front of them. Thank you for the thought. Just take this as a little education (from analytical jessica)for the day.

Death of a Moth

Wed, 26 Oct 2005 01:50:24 GMT

I decided to write about “Death of a Moth”, by Virgina Woolf. The essay is about a moth that Virgina sees on her windowpane-while taking in the surrounding environment. The reason I chose to dissect this particular essay is because of the shifting of emotions that are evident in her writing. The transition in Virginia Woolf’s essay seems clear; the moth starts off as a distraction from the surroundings she seems focused on, transitions in to an object of curiosity, and finally transitions in to a living thing that struggles against death.

My first observation was how the writer intertwines the setting with the subject, uniting both in to one big picture. For example, in the first sentence of her essay on page two hundred and two of Robert DiYanni’s, Twenty-Five Great Essays, she writes “Moths that fly by day are not properly to be called moths; they do not excite that pleasant sense of dark autumn night and ivy-blossom which the commonest yellow-under wing asleep in the shadow of the curtain never fails to rouse in us. Virginia also combines the energy of the moth with the energy of the rooks, the ploughmen, the horses, and the lean bar-backed downs which are part of the overall background.
According to a passage in Virgina Woolf’s essay I felt her feel pity towards the moth. She writes, “One was, indeed, conscious of a queer feeling of pity for him.” So even though she, perhaps unknowingly, refers to the moth as a part of the excitement she feels for autumn nights, she sees the moth as a lesser being. Another reason I feel Virgina looks down on the moth at first is because it seems as though she is focused on writing of a beautiful day in mid-September, when suddenly she notices a moth sitting on her windowpane. A different example of this is how she seems to quickly forget the moth and concentrate on the activities around her like the ploughs, the rooks, and the festivities. It seems as though she is prying herself away from paying too much attention to the moth and would rather distract herself with her surroundings, as if maybe it should be forbidden to waist her time on a pesky moth when there is so much around her.
The change from a sort of nuisance to an interest is seen in this statement, “He flew vigorously to one corner of his compartment, and, after waiting there a second, flew across to the other. What remained for him but to fly to a third corner and then to a fourth?” Here she begins to take notice of what the moth is doing and ponders what else he can possibly do besides fly back and forth. At this point Woolf’s pity has transformed in to a sort of empathy, which shows some emotion for the moth. As I was reading this passage I felt as though Virginia was scared to watch the moth, or maybe scared of the way the moth lived, on instinct, not thinking or planning on what he should do next.
Upon further observation Virginia begins to acknowledge the life that springs forth from the moth, as he becomes a living reality to her. According to Virgina the one thing that makes all living things alike is death. For example, she writes, “It flashed upon me that he was in difficulties; he could no longer raise himself; his legs struggled vainly. But, as I stretched out a pencil, meaning to help him to right himself, it came over me that the failure and awkwardness were the approach of death.” After the reality of death is realized Virginia empathizes with the moth; therefore no longer seeing it as a lesser being.
It was difficult to find passages in Virginia’s essay that can prove the change in her behavior towards the moth. In order to facilitate my opinion on her essay I decided to write what first came to mind after reading the essay. I find it interesting that my perception of this essay seemed to focus on the life of a moth, when, to some she is focusing on the death of the moth. While working on this essay not only did I learn a new prospective on the death of a living thing, but also a side of Virgina that, possibly, no one will ever know.

Friends

Thu, 20 Oct 2005 01:50:09 GMT

Today I learned something very important in regards to friends. I learned that every single person I meet is awesome! Everyone of my friends, family, and co-workers(yes, even the ones I do not like) have made me a better person. No matter how different we may be we are all still human beings.